Hopeless Romantic by Efren Castro

I haven’t felt love in such a long time

So I answer it’s call whenever I can

A notification on my phone

From a stranger asking if I’m alone

Excitement burns from my legs up to my chest

I see a nobody as the light that ignites my fire

He’s cute but that’s all I really know about him

It doesn’t matter because he’s the reason I’m happy today

I feel the rays of the sun lift the tips of my lips

To form a smile; like I was drunk

Deranged, I say, you are the answer I’ve been waiting for

I finally  feel loved again

I tell him to come over and he says yes

I spend the next two hours perfecting me

Trying to sell him the full fantasy

I look out my window and see you waving

Asking me to leave with you, I do

Every time

I reached my hands out to an illusion

It lasts until the last love song ends

Till my last hope breaks

And it falls out of me

Making me face reality

Days pass and his silence is deafening

I’m back to where I was before

A tear falls from my left eye

I collect it in a small bottle that  I write your name on

I place it on a shelf above my bed with all the others

Where the clouds form when I dream

Hoping they form around you

“Efren Castro (ig: @namehere360) is a queer Latinx writer whose poetry can be described as “nostalgia porn”. They write a lot about how growing up as a closeted person in a conservative environment has affected their platonic, romantic, and family relationships. They also discuss the ugly and dark side of gay hookup culture through their unique storytelling. They also write and design their own poetry zines, which he sells digitally and physically on his website!”

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