without the shadow of a doubt by Lake Vargas

I’m high and I love you not
because I’m high but because
in typical AM thoughts I’m a line
between your mouth and the solar system.
How do you convince someone
that they need you even though,
by default, the body doesn’t need anyone.
We could all do it alone.
I’m underwater and mouthing your name;
each syllable curls around a bubble.
You’re right your friends don’t need me
I mean you don’t need me. Your friends
are right. When I say your name,
I want to mean it in a good context.
Your curls are splaying everywhere
and you look like you’re drowning.
We almost fell apart because I don’t
let you inside me as much as I beg you
to let me inside you. You don’t know
how hard it is for me to become
as soft as felt for someone else.
I’m not flinching on the mattress now.
The sheets rolled up and I can feel them
on my bare legs. I keep saying I love you.
We can’t have another house if it is
always glowing with the neon sign of flame.

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